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Archive: January 2008

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:07

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day [Jan 21]
Fighting for your rights and standing up for them is what America is all about. I can't find a more patriotic cause than that. So I was really excited when I met Frederick Gray in my usual bar. He was talking to Pete - our regular bartender. He was so enthusiastic that I just had to introduce myself.

He's a seven foot tall big guy with really long dreads. He's named after the abolitionist and reformer Frederick Douglass. He was passing out postcards for a Black History Month poetry slam down at the Lower East Side poets’ cafe. We bought each other drinks and we talked about his experiences in the Civil Rights Movement. We talked about Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X and the Black Panthers. It was really a great discussion of how people can change the course of history together.

For me it was uplifting, I mean here I was so concerned about my breakup and being so self-centered. Then a guy like Fred walks into my life and changes my whole outlook. It only happens in New York, I tell ya!

This week's Zen quote comes from Martin Luther King, Jr. he said, "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." Spread the love brother, ya know what I'm saying? I've decided to not hate or be bitter about stuff. I think no matter what the future holds, I’m going to have a positive outlook on things. I'll let you know how I'm doing next week!

Let's Catch Up

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:06
Let's Catch Up Remember Irina my other ex that I mentioned in my last newsletter? Well, I ran into her while getting breakfast at the Comfort Diner - my favorite! Not only do they serve the traditional stuff, but they have beer too! She was on her way to work at the Clinton campaign headquarters.

I asked her, "So Irina, is this what out-of-work models do? Get out the vote?" Of course, I was being sarcastic. To my surprise she took it well, "Ya, I'm interested in politics now. There are so many rich and famous people to meet! What's more I get to talk to them sometimes, which is really cool." It was the Irina that I knew - the Irina who is always casual and has funny answers to everything. "But what about the votes and all that social change stuff? Don't you believe in that?"

"Of course I do, Bob. That's where I get my energy. The rest of it, the thrill, the excitement and meeting celebrities is just part of the package. My parents are really proud, too. It really hits home when you think of places like Chechnya, where both my parents come from. So this election is a big deal for them." It was really great to catch up with Irina. I forgot how much fun she was to be around. She can talk about issues and things without getting you down and getting too serious. "I mean think about it, there's so many people who have struggled and died just so everyone has equal rights. Voting is just one basic fundamental right," she declared.

I was taken up by her little speech. It seems she really believed in what she was doing. Talking about voting, are you registered to vote? Vote now or forever hold your peace... well, for the next four years anyway!

Whisper "I Love You" Day

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:05
Whisper "I Love You" Day [Jan 19] I left Aaliyah and headed out to Brooklyn Heights where everyone was meeting up for dinner at Le Petit Marche. Adrian hadn't been there before and I really wanted him to try the lamb! There was Kate, Adrian, Megan and me. It was one of our weekly "catch up meets". And of course, Kate had a big announcement.

Kate and Jeffrey have benn going out for a week or two now and they're totally in love. They knew it but hadn't said it to each other. You know how it is of the big pressure with saying those three little words! Between Christmas and New Year, they were still getting used to just being with each other. Anyway, the surprising thing is, it wasn't our Kate who said it first!

Jeffrey, being the romantic maestro whispered, "I love you" into her ear as she was leaving the subway to come to the restaurant. "Then the doors closed on me. I didn't even have the time to react! He was smiling when the train moved and then he was out of sight." Kate explained. "That is so romantic," said Megan, teary eyed.

Frankly, I wasn't ready for all this mushy stuff, so I just said, "Why wasn't he man enough to wait for your reaction?" And of course the women were appalled at my comment. "Maybe he didn't want a reaction. Maybe it was his way of saying, 'No matter how you feel, I'll still love you' kind of a thing. Ya know?" Megan continued. Adrian all of a sudden said, "Ya! Maybe he wasn't ready for a reaction." Oh great, even my best buddy's against me! I can't help being cynical. I've been through a lot and this mushy stuff was hard to hear.

I decided not to dwell on the matter and I think the others sensed my unease too. Megan took up the subject of steak fries and how fantastic the Coq Au Vin, is. Thank goodness for Megan, I was totally saved from the mushy "I love you" stuff.

Thinking of You

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:03
Thinking of You My big "DOH!" moment was when I asked Aaliyah whether we could still be friends. Folks, it's no surprise that I can do pretty stupid stuff under duress. Just bumping into Aaliyah after I'd been thinking of her so much over the holidays was like she teleported right in front of me. I mean talk about wishful thinking!

She was hesitant to reply. "Bob I think it's going to take some time for me to get adjusted to our new situation. It happened kinda fast for me and I really need some space now. I'm trying to start a whole new life in a new city." My heart sank. I realized that we were losing whatever connection that we had... that there was a chance that she might be out of my life forever. Then she said, "I'll tell ya what, why don't you drop me at the airport on Saturday?" A sparkle of hope! I thought -- maybe, just maybe there's still a chance...

Miss You

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:01
Miss You I've been completely screwed up lately. It's a surprise to be single again. The whole thing about being back on the market and the pressure to look for someone to date etc. can be really overwhelming. I don't know where life is taking me or what I'm going to be doing. What do you do when you really miss your ex and you really need to move on?

I bumped into Aaliyah last week. Her classes at the University should have started already so I thought she'd left town. It was a surprise when she walked up to me. She was doing some last minute shopping before she left. I don't really know why we decided to talk. Maybe it was the last good bye or something. It didn't really hit me until I was down at Tribeca at a blues club to see Jeffrey perform. Ya, remember Kate's infatuation with Beethoven? It turned out it wasn't really Beethoven that she was infatuated with! It's Jeffrey!

They got close over the holidays I guess, and started going out. It was really nice to see the sparkle in Kate's eyes. I guess I miss those moments when I had the same sparkle. I'm not going to say I didn't miss Aaliyah, because I do immensely. And listening to Jeffrey playing the blues just made it worse because it brings out all those nostalgic feelings that I'm trying to bury.

Aaliyah looked really beautiful under that winter glow of the sun. "I'll be leaving town in a couple of days," she said. "I'll see if I can call you... may I?" There was an awkward pause. The pause that you just hate to be in. The one beat that goes on for eternity. I didn't know what to say, or how to react. Part of me was hurt, and part of me really wanted to speak to her again and keep in touch. "Ya, sure, you can call me." I replied, in the same breath, I blurted out, "Aaliyah, I miss you. Maybe we could still be friends?"

Anyway, that's all I have time for now. Tune in next week to know what her reply was. I'll also keep you updated on Kate's new beau. I don't know if Aaliyah is going to contact me once she's in Chicago. In the mean time, I ran into Irina, another ex whom I haven’t seen in a long, long time. We're planning to catch up...

This week's Zen quote comes from Morrie Schwartz, of the "Tuesdays with Morrie" fame. He said, "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." Right now I'm just waiting for time to move on.

Tattoo Pride Day

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:01
Tattoo Pride Day [Jan 11] We're planning to go down to the Village at MacDougal to get a new tattoo for Rick. He's been planning this for ages and this is the '2008 tattoo' for him. He talked about his new tattoo so much that we were all really sick and tired of hearing about it.

On New Year's Eve, he got really drunk and passed out. We decided to teach him a lesson. Steve already bought a temporary tramp stamp tattoo – the one that goes on your lower back if you’re a girl. When he passed out, we took the cue and stuck it on him. It was really funny with a girly tattoo on his bum. We were all roaring with laughter the next morning when we showed him the pictures.

He thought he did it while he was really drunk and he couldn't remember anything. But it was so much better than having ridiculous Chinese letters that no one can really understand like Kobe Bryant!

I mean, what's up with that? If you're going to put something on your body you should at least know what the freak it's all about! Seriously folks, think not just twice but three or maybe even ten times before you think of having something inked on your body. Permanently! And remember, before you get that tight tattoo on your body, taking a tattoo off is a LOT more painful and expensive than putting one on.

Get Well Soon

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 13:00

What's up with people getting so sick at this time of year? Mrs. Bradley's been down with the sniffles since New Year's Day. I usually drop by her place on my way back to my house to bring her whatever she might need. She doesn't want to go out much because of the snow and the cold.

Speaking about the cold, did you know that the flu virus has a higher infection rate because of the dry and cold weather? I read about it last month in the papers. If you're sick now, stay warm. Get well soon and please, please don’t go to the office! If you’re an employer, give people sick leave – trust me, it's gonna save you money and productivity. There's nothing like a person spreading sickness all over the office! I for one don't want to get sick. As it is, I'm not feeling so well in other areas!

That reminds me... I should pick up some chicken soup for Mrs. Bradley. Her favorite deli is on my way home.

Thank You

nationalday 23/01/2008 @ 12:57

Of course getting back on my feet after Aaliyah left wasn’t easy for me. I'm glad my old buddy Adrian was there. Sometimes we forget the little things that people do for us. Sometimes, having them there and just listening can make a big difference.

Adrian's been looking for a place to stay and not having much luck, so we agreed to share my place. Looking for an apartment in the Big Apple is a big pain. My place may be small and I don't have much to offer, but he doesn't seem to mind. I'm just glad he's here. He's good company.

I hope the holiday season wasn't too stressful for all of you, but saying "Thank You" is always in season. If you have family or a friend who helped you out during hard times, why not take some time out for them and let them know how much you appreciate them?

Make Your Dreams Come True Day

nationalday 05/01/2008 @ 07:33

Make Your Dreams Come True Day  [Jan 9]

Two years ago, Steve decided that he wanted to build his own plane. We're talking about Steve here -- the guy who's afraid of flying! Him building his own plane?! It's just a really bizarre concept. But we didn't judge him. Maybe it's a therapeutic thing to do. Like one of those fear therapies that people go for.

He stuck to his goal. He saved up the money slowly and built the darn plane. And it actually took off! There's nothing like seeing your dream actually take off I tell ya! In the moment of temporary insanity, Steve went on the test flight with a flight instructor! He forgot about all his fears. Then he came back down and remembered them, and never set foot in the plane again.

We're still trying to encourage him to get back on the plane and take ownership of his dream. But I guess that's the next level for him to get to when he's ready. This New Year, even you can focus on making your dreams come true.

My favorite Zen quote for making things happen is: "Move and the way will open." Remember, your dream can be as small as walking every morning. It doesn't have to be like Steve's. But if you're setting out to making a big dream come true, take small steps and have goal posts. Once you achieve your smaller goals you're a step closer to your big dream.

Fruitcake Toss Day

nationalday 05/01/2008 @ 07:32

Fruitcake Toss Day  [Jan 7]

Fruitcake Toss Day  [Jan 7] And if you hadn't read my last email, you should! It's about the holiday classic fruitcake. Which reminds me, when I was still a teenager we suspected that the same fruitcake traveled through the whole of Pasadena and back to our place. I mean that's just a gross thought. I bet nobody really wanted the fruitcake so they kept giving it to someone they didn't really like as a gift throughout the month of December!

Well, one of those fruitcakes ended up at our house. While we're cleaning up the clutter in the kitchen, we found it. It was as stale as petrified stone. I mean it was so stale that it was really rock hard and dry. We kept tossing it around the kitchen and lost focus on cleaning. We went outside in our back yard to play Frisbee with it.

One of my neighbors, John, was not very good with catching. I tossed it way to the other side of the field towards him. Poor John missed the catch and it hit him right in the chest. He went down immediately. I mean I thought, "That's it, I'm going to end up in juvenile detention!" He was out for about half a second or so. We were all shocked. Then he just took a deep breath and said, "Dude, I won't be able to breastfeed anymore!" And we all started laughing. He improved his reflexes after that – and still never lost his humor.

Them fruitcakes can be really dangerous! So don't get attached to them, just take a deep breath and just toss that fruitcake before you hurt someone!

January Flowers

nationalday 05/01/2008 @ 07:30

January Flowers

The other day, Adrian and I were down at the pub and we started talking about, well you guessed it! BEER! We were competing against each other on beer trivia and IQs. Then all of a sudden, he said, "Did you know that carnations were used to flavor beer?"

Say what?! The dude's got to be kidding me. Flowers and beer just don't match! PERIOD. But apparently in the dark ages people used to drink carnations with wine to control the raging fevers of the plague. They were also used for treating poisons. I would never have imagined that in a million years! As it happens, carnations are the birth flower for January.

Now of course, we all know that carnations are what you give to mothers on Mother's Day. Red for someone who's mom is still there and white if their mother has died. What? Don't tell me you didn't know that! Ok, my mom makes it painfully clear -- that's how I know. I'm not a flower freak. I just happen to know, alright?

Cuddle Up Day

nationalday 05/01/2008 @ 07:29

Cuddle Up Day  [Jan 6]

Of course the perfect way to recharge yourself is to not think of anything and lay in bed. It's a time for you to say screw everything else and stay in bed for the whole day. It'll be even better if you had your significant O with ya. Last year on Cuddle Up Day, my partners in bed were Jimmy, Jenny, Billy and there was another whose name I forgot. I really had a nice day and got completely recharged.

Oh, I forgot to introduce Jimmy, Jenny, Billy and other one. These are the names of my niece Rachel's stuffed animals. Jimmy and Jenny are teddy bears, Billy is a big toy cat that looks like Garfield and there was one big dog made of what feels like just sponge. Rachel names all her stuffed playmates.

When I was still living at my sister's place, Rachel's toys were found in almost every room of their house. I found a couple of them in the room where I decided to catch a little siesta. I cuddled up with them while taking the nap and my niece was kind enough to share her toys with me. You know, the toys made me nostalgic. It brought me back to childhood. By the way, you were thinking something else about my "bed-partners", weren't you? Huh?

Have a last cuddle before you get back to work this Cuddle Up Day and you'll be totally recharged. Some "alone time" can be really nice. The point is that you recharge! Trust me, your co-workers will appreciate it! Nobody likes a grumpy colleague who's about to go postal in the New Year!